Bull Moon Hash House Harriers
Peaky Blinders H3 - 21st October 2017
Hosted by Bull Moon H3
Back in the days before Facebook , twitter , hash websites, etc, the bullsheet was a regular source of misinformation. I even wrote a few in my time. They were funny and useful. There’s always an exception that you remember – in my case one edition of the Buenos Aires Hash House Herald.
There was a hash, hared by a couple who were an item, from the lady’s new house in a gated community in the outskirts of Bs As. The couple started a fierce row during the down downs. The GMH, who was not present, emailed the committee to ask if the hash needed to intervene, or whether it was just a lovers tiff. This got leaked accidentally to the lady. However, the real explosion came when the Hash scribe, a Dutch art critic of left leaning views, published the Herald, where she made very pointed comparisons between those living inside the gated development, and those on the outside. In short, the item decoupled, the scribe said she would never write again for the hash, the GMH spent hours trying to repair the situation, and the lady never came back to the hash.
Hell hath no fury like a Harriette scorned.
Fast forward 15 years or so, and I am sitting on a train heading for Birmingham. I’m remembering my favourite Brummie joke, about the fisherman on the canal bank who caught a “whale” – when asked what he did with it, he replied that he had flung it back in as it was rusty !! Now that brings me to one of life’s great mysteries: while I can understand that our cousins across the pond, after nearly 400 years have modified the English language and its pronunciation, how is it that Warwick’s cousins just across the puddle that is Earlswood lakes, speak with an accent exceedingly rare, like scouse but softer on the ear?
(Continuing the Mersey theme, perhaps Birmingham’s song could have been “ In my Birmingham home, in my Birmingham home, we speak with an accent exceedingly rare, meet under a statue exceedingly bare, and if you want a station, we’ve got two to spare.” 3 when HS2 is built!!
BTW, did you ever ponder whether the planner of HS2 was a clandestine Brexiteer? By decreeing Euston as the London terminus, he has at a stroke relocated the North/South divide and the English Channel into the Great Rift Valley between Euston and St Pancras!! While of course World’s End is just a stone’s throw away at the end of Kings Road in Chelsea!!!
But I digress)
Arriving at the Old Joint Stock pub across from the Cathedral. I note that Cheesy and I are the only attendees dressed as Gofers. The ill-gotten gains of the Peaky Blinders are clearly on view, translated into male sartorial splendour of long coats, jackets of differing styles, waistcoats, pocket watches, baggy trousers, whilst the gangsters’ molls in flapper dresses are draped with jewels. I feel lucky to rub shoulders with such company.
I buy my first beer, (London Pride since Fullers own the pub!), sign in with Latecomer, and receive my Peaky Blinders cap (by chance supposedly, though I suspect otherwise) with its as yet hidden surprise.
The hash starts with Dr Doolittle announcing that following the Bull Moon AGPU he is the new RA.
I am confused. The “Whose Cumming” shows his home hash as Ebley Full Moon. Is he on loan to Bull Moon? Were Bull Moon unable to complete his transfer before the August deadline? Still, I suppose, as there are no rules on the hash, the RA doesn’t have to be a member of the kennel, (nor for that matter the Hash scribe!!!).
Soggy Balls takes his down down for becoming the new GMH, looking like it hadn’t yet sunk in, and the crawl begins, led by Nosejob, to the second pub, the Queen’s Head. Traditional Pub, Traditional decoration, Traditional Beer. I think I find a West Midlands beer.
On the crawl to the next pub, we stop to view the whole wall mural dedicated to the Peaky Blinders, through the gates of an apartment complex. When the gates start to open suddenly, Mad Max is the first to enter, but as the gates close slowly behind her, she changes her mind and tries to come back. For a split second I have a vision of Mad and Max being separated for ever into two equal and opposite halves. Phew - Nosejob produces a zapper at just the right moment to avoid the gruesome outcome.
Interesting to note that a mural should now, a century later honour the Peaky Blinders, who were small criminals. When Brecht wrote, “What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank”, I don’t think even he imagined what has happened in the Capitalist world in the last 10 or so years. Perhaps London should get Banksy to paint a wall mural dedicated to Ronnie Biggs in Lambeth!
Still en route to the Old Contemptibles, we cross a fairly nondescript street, straight and long, renovated industrial age buildings on either side, which is crossed at right-angles by an ageing iron railway bridge. There must be dozens of such streets in the United States rustbelt, one would have imagined, where they could shoot a film. But not to Steven Spielberg’s liking apparently. Good for Birmingham – bad for the US, eh Donald? Let’s have a tweet!!
And finally (bladder bursting) to the Old Contemptibles, where UBU Purity from the region is available. Pre-ordered food is served, history lessons read, Peaky Blinders quiz questions asked, and the Hash Scribe appointed by finding out who has the cap with Hash Scribe written inside.
I see nothing at first in mine, but my suspicions are aroused when various hashers ask me to check again!!
That’s the first half over ! They start the second half in the be at One cocktail bar, and I head for the train back to where they speak proper, like!
You may wonder what the anecdote about Buenos Aires Hash House Herald at the beginning is all about. I was the GMH, and vowed that if ever I had to be scribe again, I would try to avoid anything controversial. Hence all the crap you’ve just read!!
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